If given the choice between being stuck at home with a stomach virus or fussy baby, I would probably choose the virus.
While most can agree that we kid-free people should not have to endure the sounds of crying babies in our childless homes, once we step into a public setting, we have to deal with things we can’t control.
Crying babies on planes are annoying, but can really be solved in one of two ways, noise-cancelling headphones or a private plane – problem solved!
Now, let’s get on to the real issue: toddlers on airplanes.
Noise-canceling headphones don’t prevent chubby little legs from kicking the back of your seat. Nor do they prevent a kid from standing up in their seat and simultaneously using your headrest for balance while pulling on a chunk of stray hairs in the process. Babies don’t skip up and down the aisle way. Babies eventually fall asleep. Toddlers keep talking. Toddlers live with the sole purpose of being disruptive towards all things relaxing.
So leave the innocent babies and their parents alone, because it’s toddlers who are the true in-flight terrors.
If you’ve never tried to stop a baby from crying, then you can’t understand the frustration and helplessness of having to deal with it. Stop shaming parents of fussy babies when we all know there’s no magic solution only trial and error. Instead, shame the inattentive parents of the two and up crowd.
In fact, inattentive parents ranked second most annoying in an airplane-etiquette survey conducted by Expedia. Seat-kicking ranked number one. First place is definitely a result of second place.
So, today I propose a three-strike law for toddlers on airplanes. Toddlers should fear being added to the no-fly list. They should carry the same fear that TSA has instilled in me if I so much as look at a flight attendant wrong. I mean, loudly whining and kicking on a 6 AM flight is a serious offense.
Ok, so maybe we can’t enact a no-fly toddler program and we can’t force parents to…parent, but maybe we can at least push for quiet zones on planes?
I guess what I’m saying is, given the chance between sitting next to a crying baby or in front of an antsy toddler, choosing the baby wouldn’t be the worst decision.